I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
