I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
