Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Randomize
