I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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