yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
