i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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