i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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