i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
