i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize