she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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