It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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