Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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