We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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