he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
My dad is sitting where you rode me
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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