Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
