Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
