Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
