its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
