just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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