Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
as a side note pls kill me
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