I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
