I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
