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• (914): View more from New York

  This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.

  (1-914): View more from New York

  maybe it's her son

  (914): View more from New York

  thats not any better.

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter

  (1-314): View more from Missouri

  at least I said it was good

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  she has to be all "alternative"

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• (870): View more from Arkansas

  You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform

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• (315): View more from New York

  I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.

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• (323): View more from California

  We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."

  (1-704): View more from North Carolina

  was his pinky out?

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila

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