That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
