i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
