it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
