I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
