Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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