Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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