I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
tell me about the eggs
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
