Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
