I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
