I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
