i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
