just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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