Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
