I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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