Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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