Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
