if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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