He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
