I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
