It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
