sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
