need another drink. this is the easiest way
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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