You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
