a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize