ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
And the cops told us we were all naked.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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