It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize