Define "chronic" masturbator.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
