Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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