just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
A+ Viking dick
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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