She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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