he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
