I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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