i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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