He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
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