A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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